Why He's Never Calling You

ever wonder why that guy/girl didn't call you after your date/booty call/group hang out? here's why...
December 21, 2008
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you give girls a bad name...

Ok so this is how it all started. 

One of my best friends (for anonymity sake let's call him - and the other dudes -  "Dude") signed up for JDate. Yes he wants to meet that special someone and I don't think is just out to hook up. He goes out with a girl (let's just refer to her - and all others in her situation - from here on out as "Psycho Girl") that he "meets" through JDate. 

 

It all starts out fairly normal, drinks which then evolve to dinner. From what I understand (and I'm a girl so he may have not shared all with me) they make out a bit and then eventually one night they do the deed. This all happens over about a month or so (with Thanksgiving in between which is basically a dead week so we don't count that). After they "take out the trash" (one of Word Is Bond's fun expressions for the sex) the first time, he even takes her out for breakfast! 

 

So the deed is done on a Saturday, breakfast is had on a Sunday and Sunday night "Dude" has a standing football date with his guy friends (of which she is aware and has texted him many many times during games). Sunday night after the breakfast she proceeds to text non stop asking him to come over. He of course doesn't want to as it's only been about a month and he's trying to take it easy and not see her every single day twice a day, and also he has plans to hang out with his friends. So his birthday is that Tuesday and she obsessively stalks him all damn day texting and gchatting happy birthday like 4,000 times. She eventually asks him for plans, he says he's got a crazed week and not exactly sure what's going on (at this point he's getting very turned off to her as she does not leave him alone! GIRLS...b/c he had sex with you does not mean you should talk every single day at every single minute, you are still just dating and getting to know each other.

 

In any case, the following weekend, he sleeps with her again (dumb dude, very dumb) and because he's one of the nicest kids ever, takes her out to breakfast AGAIN. Sunday night, same thing happens "come over come over, i can't believe you don't come over!" and then the final text: "I guess I'm never seeing you again!"... um, where did that come from?? She texts the next morning saying: "Sorry I guess Drunk me wrote that text"...and then calls again at night after he does not respond to her other two texts b/c he doesn't want to get yelled at for nothing. 

 

The below events transpire after his "radio silence" does not apparently tell her that she should not call... Note to all - if someone doesn't respond after two crazy unnecessary texts and a confrontational phone call... DO NOT GCHAT THEM!!!!!! 

 

 

Tuesday morning Dude and I are chatting as we normally do...and the conversation goes a little something like this (trust me, it's really good): 

 

Dude: yo

me: Yo

Dude: talked to that chick  

it's done

me: Did you call her?

Or text? 

Dude: gchat

me: Ha

Dude: it's all documented

me: Transcript please?

Dude: HOLD  

12:12 PM Psycho Girl: hey

12:14 PM me: what's up

12:15 PM Psycho Girl: so i tried to call you last night about it

12:16 PM but i have to say something

ive been through a lot in the past year with shitty guys and i really cannot handle something similar again, so if youre not interested in dating me and just want me as a booty call id rather not continue seeing you

12:17 PM thuoght id rather say something now than wait a few months when there are deeper feelings involved

12:20 PM me: i understand how you feel. i don't think i'm interested in getting into something too serious right now.

12:21 PM if i gave you the wrong impression, i'm sorry.

12:23 PM Psycho Girl: what does that even mean?

12:27 PM me: i guess we should stop seeing each other

Psycho Girl: fantastic!

me: Wow  

She's nuts

I mean dude you might have Liked her if she didn't stalk you  

Like take it easy girl we've known each other a month

Dude: she signed off right after she wrote "fantastic!" 

Dude: either that or she blocked me

me: That was my favorite part

She created this whole thing  

Had she just chilled out maybe you would have dated her

Dude: maybe

me: She has no one to blame but herself 

Dude: she's been a lot in the past year with shitty guys

shocking

Dude: it's not like i didn't take her out

we've been out for drinks a few times

dinner once, brunch twice

not like she ever offered to pay

Dude: jesus  

she's iming me again 

thought she blocked me

Dude: Psycho Girl: im really upset, didnt think you were such a jerk 

me: honestly i think you should tell her you don't feel like you were a jerk and that she came on a bit too strong - that you had every intention of continuing dating her until she freaked out and called you every 5 seconds

she needs to know for future reference

Dude: oh my lord  

this is getting good

me: ok can you tell me  

please 

this is like a soap opera to me

Dude: you are gonna love this  

Psycho Girl: im really upset, didnt think you were such a jerk

Sent at 2:48 PM on Tuesday

me: i'm sorry. i don't think i was a jerk. what do you want me to say?

Sent at 2:52 PM on Tuesday

Psycho Girl: i mean did i really read that much into everything, you dont want a relationship but youre on jdate?

it just doesnt make any sense

Sent at 2:53 PM on Tuesday

me: i don't know what to tell you. i think you're cool and have had fun hanging out with you. i just don't think i want to get into a relationship with you. i really don't mean to upset you.

it just doesnt feel right

Psycho Girl: then why does it feel right to me?

Sent at 2:57 PM on Tuesday

me: i don't know what to tell you

i'm sorry

Sent at 2:58 PM on Tuesday

me: what is wrong with her?????

Dude: Psycho Girl: then why does it feel right to me?

now i feel bad

Dude: do you think she's done? or will there be more?

me: i dont know

me: just tell her simply 

look u are nice

we've been dating for a month

i just didn't think it needed to get so serious so quick

i think you should tell her that she came on too strong

Dude: no, cause then she'll just say we can slow things down  

i thought i was clear

me: true

ps - i'm filling my friend in on this, i hope that's ok

she says to say "I"M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU"

in all caps so she gets it

poor kid's just not getting it

Dude: i think it's pretty clear that i was immediately turned off when she started acting psycho

me: um, no it's not

u have to tell her that

Dude: i'm done

if she presses the issue, i'll tell her

me: yeah  

i mean she's not done

she'll be back

the minute she gets drunk

Dude: does your friend love it?

me: um,her and i are plotting a website

"whyhesnevercallingyou.com" 

Dude: brilliant

me: where we publish texts/gchats/emails and show girls where they went wrong

Dude: can i be a columnist?

me: and if you are having a stalker you can just direct her to that site

Dude: seriously, that's brilliant

you could do better, i think

how about 

Dudestopbeingapsychobitch.com

Dudegetyourheadoutofyourass.com

me: hahahaha  

i mean these girls need help

Dude: i think guys do the same thing  

my cousin is always telling me about her friends' guy stalkers

Dude: Oh god she’s back again: Psycho Girl: so basically you just wanted ass awesome, have a nice life

Sent at 3:55 PM on Tuesday

me: Oh my god

I told you she wasn't done

Dude: ha

i'm debating writing her an email and telling her she's psycho. 

 


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